OMG WE LOVE YOU
(We really do)
We just want to hug you and introduce you to our mamma in Italy.
Our mamma always told us "think before you open your mouth'
Obviously these people did not get mamma's memo!
(Any reference to any person or episode is not accidental, we just don't know their names or we would definitely tell you)
THE VILLAGE IDIOT
TOP 10 STUPID QUESTIONS
OF THE MONTH
Q) Wow this soup is amazing! What kind of soup is it? What's inside?
A) I'm glad you like it, it's a simple cream of tomato basil soup
Q) And there is no lobster in it?
A) No it's a cream of tomato basil soup.
Q) And are you sure there is not lobster in it?
A) Why would I not say if there was lobster in it.
Q) I don't know maybe you want to keep the secret.
A) No really, there is no lobster, it's a tomato basil soup.
Q) It's too good, I think there is lobster.
A) Ok, there is lobster ma'am, can't hide the truth from you, you totally nailed it!
Q) See I knew it!
AWESOME PHONE CALL
Q) So I'd like to order A Veal parmigiana.
A) Sorry but we do not serve veal parmigiana.
Q) OH, infact I'm looking at your website and I can't find it. I don't understand.
A) Oh it's easy, you read the menu and if you don't see it, it means that we don't have it.
Q) So you only have one menu? There is no other menu available?
A) Well we do have a special menu for special people but I'm not sure I can tell you about it.
Q) And that menu has a veal parmigiana?.
A) No unfortunately it does not, but we have another 6 menus that we hide from anyone to keep the secret. Do you want me to check if there is the veal parmigiana?
Q) Yes please.
A) Just checked it, sorry no veal parm.
Q) Oh that's too bad, I guess you don't have any more menus?
A) Well we have another 2 menus that we keep as emergency, just in case.
Q) Wow, so you do have lots of menus., I knew it!
A) But still no veal parm.
Q) Well you are not getting any business from me today but I'll stop by to check all other menus you have since you don't put them online.
A) please stop by, we all want to meet you.
10am in the morning with his cup of Starbuck coffe in one hand, having passed the sign that says Restaurant & Pizzeria, the security gate which is half down, the dining room with all the tables set up, and then seeing us wearing chef coats.
Q) Are you open?
A) No we open at 11.
Q) Is this a restaurant?
A) No it's a Tennis Cub.
Q) What do you mean?
A) Does it look like a restaurant to you? It's aTennis Club.
Q) Oh ok, thank you!
Storming in at lunch time
Q) Why this place is always busy?
A) We have a lots of relatives.
Q) Oh that make sense now (And he left).
PAESANO OF THE MONTH
Q) Does your panini comes with bread?
A) Yes panini are sandwiches and they are with bread.
Q) I'm Italian and I know what panini is, thank you very much, and sometimes they have no bread.
A) Oh ok, sure.
Q) You are not Italian obviously.
A) Oh no we are all from Konfusistan.
Q) That's what I thought.
Q) I'm from Chicago, would I like your pizza?
A) It depends, are you from Chicago downtown?
South Chicago or Chigago suburbs?
A) Because here we are very specific and we put attention on details.
Q) I'm from the city of Chicago.
A) That's too bad because we really think you are not going to like our pizza.
Q) Why not?
A) When we make our pizza the last thing on our minds is Chicago city. I promise.
Q) But I want it.
A) Your call, I would'nt reccomend it, but ok your call.
Q) So is NY style?
A) It depends, Ny uptown, downtown, Brooklin, Queens, it depends.
Q) Ok ok got it, just make me a small Margherita.
A) Alrighty then!
Q) Spaghetti with live sea urchin..mmmmmhhh.
So the Sea urchin is alive on the plate?
A) Are you eating here or you taking it to go?
Q) It's to go.
A) Perfect, by the time you get home the Sea urchin will have passed to a better life already.
Q) Just so you know, I ordered one of your small pizzas last nighjt and it is certainly not enough for two people.
A) You mean you ordered the pizza on the menu that says PERSONAL/INDIVIDUAL size and it wasn't enough for two?
Q) Yes that one!
A) Thanks for letting us know, we'll certainly look into it.
Q) You better.
CHEF OF THE MONTH
Q) This spinach tastes wierd.
A) It's arugula it's not spinach, you ordered the arugula salad.
Q) Yes I know, but usually the arugula salad comes with spinach.
A) (This one did not ended up too well, let's just say we lost a valued customer)
CHEF FROM NAPA
Q) I'm a Chef from Napa.
Q) I'm a Chef from Napa and I like your food.
Q) i'm a Chef from Napa, is there anyrhing special you can do?
A) Are you by the chance a Chef from Napa?
Q) Yes I told you.
A) Yes but only three times and we just want to make sure that you are actually a real Chef from Napa and there are no misunderstandings here.
Q) I'm a Chef from Napa.
A) Ok, Chef from Napa, are you coming in peace or to conquer and invade this area.
Q) No I'd like to order something
A) Are you eating here or are you taking the food to Napa where you work as a Chef?
Q) I'll take it to go.
A) are you going to share the food with other Chefs from Napa or just normal Napa residents?
A) Ok Ok got it, you guy don't care.
Q) We love you, Chef from Napa, welcome to Botto