Hall of Shame

As you know, here at Botto things are done very differently from every other restaurant in this country as you know we invite our customers to write one stars reviews on us and we
reward them with a 50% OFF any pizza.
Every other restaurant highlights their best reviews, we don't. We think that bad reviews are way more entertaining and fun to read.
On sites like Yelp we find the most amazing and stupid reviews ever written about us.
We have many to choose from because people really hate us on yelp, and we are very proud of it!
We notice that more aggressive and stupid the reviews are, the more we can laugh about it,
and of course make fun of it.
Thousands of our repeating loyal customers learned about us from our funny FAQ, our Village Idiot page and our Hall of shame.

In Italy we don't have Yelp. Italians spend most of their time eating, getting laid and talking to real friends (not the ones on Facebook). So we don't fully understand why people spend so much time writing on the internet to imaginary friends or imaginary followers.

Here we show you the most embarassing and idiotic reviews we found about us, with our replies and comments.
We can't believe that some people are stupid enough to make fools of themselves.
It is not about how the food is or their experience in general...usually they get mad about the owner or the toilet or whatever other thing has being bothering them.

Our suggestion? Do it the Italian way, eat well, find yourself a girlfriend or a boyfriend,
turn off the computer and go out with friends.
in other words get a life!

Here is the 'Botto Elite' a group of extraordinary people who make our days a little more fun.
A man who can't make the faucet in our bathroom to work, another one who write reviews on other people reviews, a 500 reviews loser with a Yelp badge who would jump from the bridge if Yelp ask for it, and our self declared Village idiot who almost had an heart attack after he read our FAQ...he can't believe we are still in business, it's a miracle!
These extraordinary people have something in common they use Yelp to share their thoughts, the only way for them to be heard by someone. No one cares about them..but we do and we love what they have to say. A lot!

THE FAUCET MAN (For sure he is not a plummer)
This is just extraordinary, we can't really add any more comments
to this.
We really hope the faucet man will come back to see us.
For any of you who want to have a tour of our bathroom and play
with our faucet we will provide you with the instruction manual.

MIKE M. Richmond California 12/12/2012- YELP
(Photo not available)

Went there tonight for maybe the fourth time. Every previous time was fine. This time, I went to the restroom to wash my hands. Had to use a key hitched to a spoon about a foot long to get in. The water didn't work, neither hot or cold. I told the woman behind the bar. She walked into the kitchen, then out again. After a little while i tried again. Same thing-no water. I tried both hot and cold settings again.

I'm reporting them to the health dept because the water didn't work, and I wasn't sure employees were washing their hands after using the restroom. So the cook comes out, checks the water, and says 'it works.' I said show me. So we walked into the restroom, and he pushed the knob down, and water came out. It wasn't the type of faucet that usually requires that-it was an ordinary looking knob like you'd turn one way for hot, one way for cold. I'm 65-I've used many different types of faucets quite successfully.

12/13/2012 You are ADORABLE!
We grew up in Italy and as a little kids we were going to the circus to see the clowns. As adults we opened a restaurant in Richmond and guess what!? The clowns are coming here for dinner and the entertainment is free.
We think of you as a national treasure, as is Mr Bean for the British. We can only imagine your face and frustration when you found yourself dealing with this strange device in the bathroom, a magic instrument, some new technology from another planet, or maybe an Italian faucet that has not been translated into English for you.
Doesn't matter if the hundreds of customers that use our restrooms weekly easily wash their hands, it's still a bad faucet, bad bad faucet, that does not like you.
Yes you should contact immediately the proper departments and also the White House - the president needs to be informed about this mysterious device placed in our bathroom.
We are so glad you did not hurt yourself trying to make the faucet work.
Next time the circus is in town please stop by again . We will take you to Home depot and Bed Bath & Beyond so you can play all day with all these magic faucets.
Thank you funny man for making our evening less boring - we need to have some fun sometime.
We are hoping that our faucet will become a local attraction and you become an inspiration for new young comedians.
This one was to good to be true - we have to share with the public. Now you are in our Hall of Fame. Congratulations!

If anyone deserves to be in our Hall of Shame it's this gal.
How far human stupidity can go is a mystery.
We had so much fun with this review, we are so proud we
were the choosen ones.
Keep up the good job - BRAVO!

M.G Berkeley California 2/20/2103-YELP
(No photo available)

I am writing a review on all the reviews I have read about this place. I have never gone to this restaurant, even though I have walked by it hundreds of times.  All right I take it the food is authentic Italian. The owner is Italian,has Huge Ego, everything is Italian right? I guess the obvious stupidity is and I guess the owner can not think above his ego is that the restaurant IS NOT IN ITALY, IT IS LOCATED IN RICHMOND, CA USA!  If he likes Italy so much why not open a restaurant there? Out of respect for people who live here, they should be treated with respect and not treated badly because they are not Italian. I know the owner could care less about my opinion, But this is America, USA,we deserve respect in our own country.

3/16/2013 So wait, wait a minute...you are writing a review on all the reviews of a place
you have never been to?
You have an idea how cute you are? Really?
In Italy you would be locked up in some mental institution but here you write reviews on other reviews and you are still wandering around. God bless America!
We just love you!
If you don't mind we are going to post this on our website because we have to share it with our followers and friends.
Seriously we want to help you if there is anything we can do to help you let us know, we know many good psychiatrists.
But you are right to not underestimate the threat to your country.
In fact our Italian troops at Botto are ready to invade the United States with pizza and fettuccine Alfredo. Our guns are loaded with meatballs, we will have no mercy. OMG!!!!!
We really hope for you this is just a joke you are writing, because if it is not BRAVO!

Mr 500 (this one is for our Italian friends overseas who don't have idiots writing 500 reviews, but here we do and they are just awesome!)
We don't always ask for an opinion, but when we do we certainly ask the loser with 500 reviews written on yelp because we just can't help it!
If you are a loser willing to write as much as 500 reviews on Yelp for free, Yelp will give you a special person's badge, an ‘Elite badge’ to make you feel important, so Yelp can sell ads.
In Italy an idiot who writes 500 reviews would also receive a badge along with a Batman costume, a pony, a noise maker and a bucket full of candy so they can sell tickets for the circus.
Our parody of the Steves made the news in the SF Chronicle and it was a smash hit that made the entire bay area laugh. We posted the article on Yelp as a reply to this awesome Steve and he promptly had it removed by Yelp, but here Yelp does not count shit, and we have a way bigger megaphone.
Honestly is the first time in all these years that we've got reviewd by one of this hundreds reviews idiot and we are really glad we did this. We actually got a comical 5 star rating out of spite and hate. we really did a pretty good job with this clown, poor Steve we destroyed his god Yelp and all he has left is a shiny badge.
Here is the article dear Botters and it says it all SF BOTTO KEEPS TROLLING YELP

Steve K. Bay point California 10/02/2014 -YELP
(Photo available on Yelp)
If you like to take a lesson about self confidence from a loser half man who wrote 500 reviews on Yelp
here is the link to his angry rant, pure hate guys...you are advised.
This is what you become when you write to many reviews on Yelp.
Dear friends don't do this to yourself and live a better life,
turn off the computer, find a hobby, and for the love of god get layd somehow.
PS. He also contacted us and try to intimidate and threaten us, as a today we are totally terrified.
Now he can write down his 500 reviews in a thick paper, roll it and shove it.
We do not negotiate with idiots and Yelpers!

MEET THE BRIANS (Businesses are temporary, idiots are forever)
We can't really put a sign on our door saying "Idiots not allowed"
But, what we can do is advertise our FAQ with the answers that any
Brians do not want to hear. They are made especially for the Brians.
Brian declares us out of business pretty much every 4 years -                                                 eventually we will retire and he will find peace.
He went crazy when he read our FAQ so he copied and
published all our FAQ in his review on Yelp - he found our secret:
our FAQ are hidden in our website and only few thousand people
see it every month. Not the brightess guy in the class.
Brian is our stalker he update his review every few weeks telling everyone
how much he enjoy to be the village idiot. Enjoy Champ!
So if you have an IQ lower than this guy you need to be water twice a week.
But we love Brian like if he was normal.

BRIAN M. Berkely California 2/2/2014-YELP
(Photo availabe on yelp)

"Any business that has an attitude like this place isn't worthy of being in business.
(He then posted our FAQ's)

I'm soooo honored to be your "Village Idiot". If just one person read my review and skip your restaurant I'll be an happy idiot. The many recent 1 star reviews say it all so I guess you should just go back to Italy.

(Note-Our reply has been removed by Yelp, obviously Brian called his God for help,
but we've got a screenshot and our reply is here to stay)
Something tell us that Brian and Yelp don't like us that much. Oh well!

Just awesome!
You finally got our attention, but not in the way you hoped.
This one has been served to us and our followers on a silver plate.
We grew up in Florence Italy where Yelp has not been used yet, so there we don't have many resources to find the Brians.
For the past 10 years we published on our newsletter and on our web page "The village Idiot", the most idiotic and impressing bad reviews ever written about us. We already make it pretty clear how much we care about the Brians opinion on our FAQ, and of course it is a traumatic experience for any Brian who is reading.
Honestly we don't know who the Brians are, they are nobody to us and probably to many others, they usually just want attention or a friend, who knows!
Sometime they want to be Italian or a chef or a food critic, sometime they want to be Indiana Jones or Luke Skywalker, they are cute, just say yes. They have to prove they have special powers.
Tons of hours of food channel and 3 weeks in Italy and Voila'! Any Brian is ready to give a lecture to anyone at anytime!
Us and about 10000 followers of Botto we can't wait to laugh at the Brians especially when they are getting aggressive and they want you out of business. They are kind of creepy!
Now this one is going to be on our next Newsletter and on our page with Brian's reviews and our answers. Of course it will be on our hall of fame.
How you recognize a Brian? They tell you you have an attitude if you don't do it their way or another way if a fancy limo park in front of your business the door open and NOBODY is coming out, you find him is Brian!
Every village has one and we found ours. No matter where you are Italy or the States, just here they are easy to find they are on Yelp and they look for you.
We served Italian food and made fun of Brians for 25 years, if you have a special Brian friend please bring it to Botto we''ll make sure is going to hate us for ever!